My Angel

On January 9th 2008, Grady and I were flying from Chicago back to Texas when I recieved horrible news, my grandmother "Meme" had passed away. This was very unexpected and soo heartbreaking.

Before I started blogging, I would often sit up late at night and type-- much like I do now but my stories and thoughts were never published. Here is something I typed soon after Meme passed away...

She taught me to be kind, to be grateful, to love, to see the beauty in all things. She was amazing; always so happy and full of life and always saw the best in everything and everyone. She was my grandmother, my angel and my friend. If I had the opprutunity to tell her anything I would say "Thank you" for being such a positive role model for me, "Thank you" for always making me laugh, "Thank you" for being apart of who I am today. I will forever be grateful! There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her; I miss her so much. She was always the one I would call when I needed a "pick-me-up". I guess you could say she was my life line. I now know that she is my gaurdian angel and she puts the strenght in me everyday to overcome the bad and make it great, to embrace life with joy, and to accept others when they see no reason for acceptance themselves.

I know she is in Heaven looking over me and my family and God has proved that time and time again. I have never shared what I'm about to share, I guess, because in a way it sounds crazy or maybe its ironic BUT when I went home to Texas last summer and visited her grave I prayed for God to show me a sign. I needed to know that she was really gone, I guess. Reality still hadn't set in after all these months.
When I got back to the house, I was thumbing through a magazine (Women's World or something) and I found an article about how some believe that ladybugs or birds are a sign from Heaven. That when they show up at random times it was a sign that someone in Heaven was looking over you. In the article, a woman who had just lost her mom and was going through a hard time. She needed some sort of sign from above that her mother was with her (ironic, huh?). This woman was a flight attendant and on that day that she needed the strength from her mom, the plane was filled with ladybugs.

*Sidenote*
It was a very good article-- enough that it brought tears to my eyes and a chill down my spine. I wish I could remember all the details...

I put down the magazine and went outside where Connor was playing in the pool. When I got up next to him I noticed that his little hands were cupped and he had something inside-- it was a ladybug!! I know it sounds crazy BUT this is true... And that's not the only ladybug sighting-- to this day whenever Connor and are outside and the weather is nice a ladybug always seems to find him. Maybe its ironic!?! Afterall, ladybugs to live outside, right? Well, then explain to me this-- When I got home from the hospital, after having Ansley, I heard Grady mention something about how many ladybugs were in my room at the hospital (remember I haven't shared my ladybug sightings with anyone). I believe that God works in mysterious ways. Maybe this is my grandmother's way of being with all of her loved ones at once-- I don't know but everytime I see a ladybug I think of her. =)

Have you seen Motivation?

Today has been such a dreary day and on days like this I can't find the energy to to anything. I realize that while both kids are sleeping I should be folding clothes or changing sheets on the bed, moping or cleaning the bathroom BUT its so quiet all I want to do is soak it in...

I use to have this "friend" who helped me wake up in the morning and clean house. She pushed me out the door on days like today when I needed something from the store. She would walk with me around the block if I needed exercise. She was a dear friend and her name is Motivation. I'm not sure what happened to her-- She is probably hiding in a dirty clothes pile or under the mess of toys in Connor's room. If you see Motivation would you please tell her I need her?

Okay, found her!!! As I was sitting here typing this blog I was searching for a motivational quote to insert AND I be danged if a pop up ad from Jillian Michaels (the fitness trainer from The Biggest Loser) didn't pop up!! Do you think God is trying to tell me something?

I'm gonna go clean out the bathtub...

Rainy Day

This morning I woke up to rain tapping on the window-- I love that sound. It makes me want to stay in bed all day!! I snuggled in bed until I heard Ansley moving around in the bassinet then I decided I had better get up before she starts crying and wakes up Connor. She is all smiles when she first wakes up. It is the most precious thing-- always a highlight of my day!
Now I am enjoying the sound of the rain, drinking a cup of coffee, and wondering how am I going to entertain Connor on this rainy day. Maybe we will make a "dixie cup volcano" or a "story time tent" or maybe we should but on our rain coats and boots and go stomp in the puddles. Connor is a big fan of puddle stomping.

To be continued...

My Mother's Day Weekend

I had a great Mother's Day!! It was spent with my husband and kids (like its suppose to be, I guess). On Saturday, Grady gave me the opportunity to go do whatever I wanted to do. I was thrilled- so after lunch I headed out to do whatever a 25 year old, stay-at-home mom does without her kids. As I was backing out of the driveway I thought to myself "what AM I going to do?" I really needed to go to the store-- we were about out of milk and WHAT was I going to cook for supper!?! I started mentally making a grocery list and was headed to Wal-Mart... Halfway there something came over me--Stop, this isn't what you WANT to be doing-- a faint voice said inside my head. I haven't heard that voice in a long time; I almost didn't recognize it. So, I turned around and went to Hobby Lobby.

*Side note*
Now going to Hobby Lobby may not be a THRILL to a lot of people BUT think about this-- this store is one place no one takes their kids to (due to all the breakables, I guess)-- this store is quiet and plays this soft music that could almost put you to sleep as you walk around looking at nothing in particular. No WOMAN (cause you hardly ever see a man in Hobby Lobby) ever seems to be in a hurry while browsing through the isle in THIS store-- I believe that if they put beds in the back of Hobby Lobby store it would be a mini vacation for moms. Heaven on Earth!!

I walked around for about an hour making mental notes of little projects I could do with the kids this summer. Thinking Connor would love this- Kaylee would like that- Ansley would look cute in this... Then, I left AGAIN wondering WHERE do I go next-- I started on my way home, drove around the block AND my phone rang-- that little voice in my head spoke again-- if its Grady tell him your not coming home yet-- sure enough it was him (apart of me was relieved-- he needed me) BUT he only wanted me to get him something to drink before I came home. I now had a mission...

Why is it so hard for moms to do something nice for themselves? Why do we secretly feel guilty when we buy an article of clothing for us instead of for our kids?