My Angel

On January 9th 2008, Grady and I were flying from Chicago back to Texas when I recieved horrible news, my grandmother "Meme" had passed away. This was very unexpected and soo heartbreaking.

Before I started blogging, I would often sit up late at night and type-- much like I do now but my stories and thoughts were never published. Here is something I typed soon after Meme passed away...

She taught me to be kind, to be grateful, to love, to see the beauty in all things. She was amazing; always so happy and full of life and always saw the best in everything and everyone. She was my grandmother, my angel and my friend. If I had the opprutunity to tell her anything I would say "Thank you" for being such a positive role model for me, "Thank you" for always making me laugh, "Thank you" for being apart of who I am today. I will forever be grateful! There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her; I miss her so much. She was always the one I would call when I needed a "pick-me-up". I guess you could say she was my life line. I now know that she is my gaurdian angel and she puts the strenght in me everyday to overcome the bad and make it great, to embrace life with joy, and to accept others when they see no reason for acceptance themselves.

I know she is in Heaven looking over me and my family and God has proved that time and time again. I have never shared what I'm about to share, I guess, because in a way it sounds crazy or maybe its ironic BUT when I went home to Texas last summer and visited her grave I prayed for God to show me a sign. I needed to know that she was really gone, I guess. Reality still hadn't set in after all these months.
When I got back to the house, I was thumbing through a magazine (Women's World or something) and I found an article about how some believe that ladybugs or birds are a sign from Heaven. That when they show up at random times it was a sign that someone in Heaven was looking over you. In the article, a woman who had just lost her mom and was going through a hard time. She needed some sort of sign from above that her mother was with her (ironic, huh?). This woman was a flight attendant and on that day that she needed the strength from her mom, the plane was filled with ladybugs.

*Sidenote*
It was a very good article-- enough that it brought tears to my eyes and a chill down my spine. I wish I could remember all the details...

I put down the magazine and went outside where Connor was playing in the pool. When I got up next to him I noticed that his little hands were cupped and he had something inside-- it was a ladybug!! I know it sounds crazy BUT this is true... And that's not the only ladybug sighting-- to this day whenever Connor and are outside and the weather is nice a ladybug always seems to find him. Maybe its ironic!?! Afterall, ladybugs to live outside, right? Well, then explain to me this-- When I got home from the hospital, after having Ansley, I heard Grady mention something about how many ladybugs were in my room at the hospital (remember I haven't shared my ladybug sightings with anyone). I believe that God works in mysterious ways. Maybe this is my grandmother's way of being with all of her loved ones at once-- I don't know but everytime I see a ladybug I think of her. =)