It's time to grow...

Well, for those of you (I am assuming there are some) who have been following my blog, you know how stressed I have been about this whole moving thing. Yesterday afternoon I got a text (yes, a text message on my cell phone) saying, "What about Hawaii?" My first thought and my reply was, "For vacation?" Afterall, at the time of the text I was knee deep in snow trying to dig my van out AGAIN so I could run errands-- a vacation to Hawaii sounded great; however, I knew that's not what Grady meant. He soon replied, "For 3 years!?!"

At first, this news was exciting and all i could think was--- Warm weather year round, no more layers of clothes, walks on the beach, building sandcastles in the sand, NO MORE SNOW, a real reason to get my butt in shape, a real tan (one that I don't have to pay for), a 3 year long vacation...

Then, it started to all sink in-- Its expensive there (to live, to visit), this WILL be a deploying unit so Grady will deploy and the kids and I will spend months there ALONE without him, its far away from the states... Its not going to be the 3 year vacation I had earlier invisioned...

I questioned whether or not to even go with him... Perhaps just rent a house in Texas and see him when he could get leave or when he was home for R&R... This changes so many things AND at the moment I'm not sure how to wrap my head around it all. Of course, I love and support my husband (to the moon and back) and apart of me wants to go to Hawaii and be just that-- loving and supportive... And the other part of me wants to climb in a hole and not come out until he retires from the Marines...

After talking to a few friends who have been stationed there (they all loved it, btw), I started to put things into prespective and I started to realize who I AM, what my "job" is as his wife and the mother to his children... He chose me because I love him and I support him in his career even if that means moving across the world.

So, Who AM I? I am the glue that holds our family together, the support system that makes us work, the optimistic one, the decision maker (don't always like that one). I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a strong person (most of the time), A MILITARY WIFE. 

For so long I have dreamed of having a "normal" life. One where my husband works a 9 to 5 job, we live down the road from our family, we own a home. A life where there wasn't dramatic changes every 3 or 4 years... I guess, in a way, the life I grew up having. 

I realize that THIS is MY life-- I married a Marine and together we have two amazing kids. I agree that this life is tough at times BUT I know God put me in Grady's life for a reason and for that I can't let him down. We will see the world TOGETHER (or at least parts of it) and we will make memories TOGETHER and we will love and support each other when we are apart because that's what we do AND what we have always done! And I like it that way =) 

Revelation 3:8

When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!

Another cold, snowy day...

Well, as I sit here drinking my second cup of coffee, watching the snow fall outside and the tempeture drop to the low 20's-- I start to get annoyed by all the cold weather and wonder if spring will EVER come... Then, I hear Connor and Ansley in the other room laughing and playing, the dishwasher going, the sink (that continues to drip) that I need Grady to fix, the sound of normal-sy  and realize that it's enough to make me smile =)

I haven't blogged much lately because I have started reading (yeah, I have never been much of a reader). I read "Dear John" and my good friend Jill and I went to watch the movie last Saturday (a nice-much needed- girls night out). We have decided now we are going to read "The Time Traveler's Wife" and then rent the movie for our next GNO-- I'm excited and glad I have a friend like her =)

Grady has started working from 5am to 2 so for the first time since we have lived in IL he has been home before dark during the week-- I love it BUT that means I only have till 2pm to get all my housework done and not the usual 5 or 6 that I've gotten so used to... Change (in this case) is a good thing!!
We still don't know when or where we will be stationed (grrrr!) but I'm trying not to consume myself "not knowings" and "what-ifs" and just let what happen, happen.
I just realized its ONLY 8:45am!! It seems sooo much later than that-- I suppose I got lost in the randomness of this blog but I thought I needed to update everyone on the "Big Nothings" or the "Little Everythings" (however you look at it) that have been going on in my life...

P.S. Next week is Miss Ansley's 1st birthday-- I can't believe my princess will be a year old already *tear*...